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    B_Witch

    THE birthday party from Hades....and back again.-1

    Monday, November 12, 2007, 04:02 PM AEST [Life]

     

    Ok, I have a 15 year old son, he was kicked out of school a few months ago..lonnng story..and now works full time at a turf farm..

     Every weekend him and 3 0f his best mates party, in our shed. They`ve got a pool table, tv, playstation,dvd player,stereo,lounge,loft,beds, you name it.

    This shed is kitted out, they love it.

    They spend their  weekends in their playing loud "gansta" music, having a few (sometimes a few too many) drinks, they`re safe and supervised, everyone knows where their kids are and what they`re doing. 

    In a safe, supervised environment, much preferable to worrying all weekend where your kids are and what they`re up to.

    So when Dan says to me "I`m having a party this weekend", I`m good with it, he hangs with good boys, I can`t forsee any problems.

    I can`t "forsee" any problems?

    What the fuck was *I* thinking?!

    This "party" started on the Friday night with "just  few mates", like 15 of them, they were all boys from the same school, I didn`t know half of them but they "looked" like good boys!

    I left them to their party, made my presence known every now and then but ultimately left them with it, they`d come inside and have a chat every now and then, none of them seemd overly effected by drinking, I`m thinking what good boys they are, even after hearing the chants from the shed of "scull, scull, scull", they SEEMED OK.

    I was 15 once, I *should* have seen the signs of "you`re being fucked with my dear lady"!!!

    I don`t drink at all either so I SHOULD have picked it!! The cunning little shits!

    It`s midnight, Ben and I went to bed, big week, bigger day, our heads hit the pillow, we hit slumber land.

    I woke up at 5am Saturday morning, went to make coffee for Ben and I, I looked in Dans room as I passed,(at least 2 boys usually end up in there), yep, 2 bodies, Luke and Dillon, I headed out to the shed to check the rest, I wasn`t sure which ones were  actually staying , I knew the regulars and Dan were.

     I opened the front door, looked toward the shed, past where my car was parked........where my car WAS parked....My FUCKEN CAR WAS GONE!!!!!!!!

    My heart started racing, my pace quickened and I headed into the shed, the EMPTY shed, I climbed up onto the loft.... nope, empty...I felt sick as fuck.

    I ran into the house, shouting to Ben to get my phone..."I`ve gotto ring Dan...Where`s the phone????"

    "My fucken cars gone!!!!"

     All I could hear was the beating of my heart, I ran into Dans room, still yelling to Ben to get the phone, started ranting at two blurry eyed half asleep teenagers in Dans bed, the roaring in my ears getting louder ,trying not to vomit, cry, scream, go into absolute lost hysterics..WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KID????????????

    Then Ben shouted "they`re coming down the driveway now!"

    I ran to the driveway, Dan CRUISED down in my car, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "doof doof" music  blaring from the cd player, a smile as big as the sunrise on his face.

    He stopped, got out of the car, the other 4 kids were shitting themselves, I screamed at them "I don`t know which of you to smack in the fucken mouth first!!!"

    Burst into tears and threw my arms around my shit of a son!

    Fuuuuck!

    My car had vomit all over it and my sleep deprived/half sloshed PROUD son tells me he "made it" to the fucken GATEWAY MOTORWAY AND BACK!!!!!!!!!!

    Absolute waste of time arguing with a drunk (have I mentioned that I don`t drink ever, and I`m not particularly fond of drunks in any form), I`ll talk to him after he`s had sleep.

    So I put them all to bed, made my coffee, sat down and melted down.......

    A car came down the driveway, it was now 7:30am on a Saturday morning, "it must be one of the kids parents," I thought to myself as I wandered out.

    A "hotted up" ute pulled in, 2 "tough" looking dudes got out of it, about my age, I asked what I could I do to help them? Hoping desperately that they`re lost and just wanted directions.

    No such luck.

    Old mate started at me....I was rubbing my eyes wondering what the fuck he was talking about...what mailbox?

    I blinked.

    Ohhhhh, I get it, he lives across the road, his mailbox got smashed for the second weekend in a row, he`s not happy and he "knows" it came from here. I agreed, it probably did come from here, not from the regular boys or my boys, but the add ons that turned up last night, I couldn`t say that it DIDN`T come from here, it was more than likely that it did, but last weekend? Only my boys were here, I know they didn`t leave the shed and I also know they aren`t into destruction for fun. Come back when they`re awake, ask them, if they know who did it, they`ll tell, if they don`t they won`t.

    What more could one ask for?

    This meathead wanted a confession written in blood I reckon, but he agreed to come back after the boys had had some sleep.

    Oh and amongst this, have I mentioned that my house is for sale and the realtor was bringing a prospective buyer thru at 10 o`clock? No? Must have forgotten.Oh AND on Friday afternoon we`d had to get a plumber out cos as Dan had his shower, the bathroom literally filled up with shit, the fucking toilet exploded! Flooded the bathroom, the whole house smelt like shit, had shit insects floating everywhere...it was great.

     *Nods* Fucking GREAT....

     

     

     

     

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    RAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

    Monday, November 12, 2007, 02:25 PM AEST [Life]

     

    One more time I tell you! That`s IT! My fucken nails keep hitting the wrong keys and taking me places I DON`T WANT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!

    I`ve tried this twice now.....third time lucky.

    Ok, the weekend......it sucked but it was ok, no-one was killed ( no idea HOW), everyone still has limbs n shit and my house is still standing, so that`s gotto be a good thing huh???? *nods* fucken oath after the weekend I`ve just had.

     

    From the top....Bek first

    Bek went on a school camp last week, that in itself did my head in cos it was a beachside camp with water activities obviously, reason for my head being done in is.....3 years ago (25th Oct `04) my brother (Kenny aged 27) drowned at the beach. That was the most fucked time of my entire life and the thought of my baby girl going anywhere near the ocean fucked me.

    The ocean...has no conscience ya know...it`s controlled by the moon, its magnetic, it`s a fucken powerful element, it can fuck up what it wants when it wants....WHY you`d go IN it is beyond me, yeah it`s beautiful, so admire it, but keep the fuck out of it! It`s too big for humans!

    So Bek goes on this camp, I spend 5 days jumping everytime the phone rings, my heart palpitating everytime there`s a message on the machine, sending constant protections to her, they weren`t allowed to wear any jewellry so I wore her Pent necklace. I spent the week worrying about Bek and crying over memories of Ken.

    I turn up to pick her up on the Friday, the bus is late, I feel sick.

    The bus pulls in, THREE police officers get off first, then the teachers - all in tears, then a whole pile of kids- also all in tears....I can`t see Bek, my hearts pounding, what the fuck is going on??? I`m searching frantically through the mayhem of crying kids and teachers, looking into the faces of parents as confused as I am, searching for Bek, fuck I don`t think I`ve ever felt so sick. WHERE THE FUCK WAS MY KID??????????

    Finally I find her thru the confusion, she`s bawling too, I don`t care-she`s alive. I ran to her and put my arms around her and started crying myself, partly cos she was and partly cos I was so fucking relieved to see her.

    Turns out that one of the teachers (not on the camp) had had a heart attack the day prior, so the school thought it beneficial to have the bus pulled over by the police, a counsellor thrown on with them to break the news and then leave 100 kids in need of comfort on a bus for another 2 hours, fucken great choices there.

    WHY they didn`t just wait till they got back to the school and take them into a room or something to tell them where there was someone to offer comfort to them is beyond me, but yeah, it was horrible.

    Blessed Be Mr Brown. He was a good teacher to Bek, and she has a heart of gold, which breaks often and easily, so she was messed up.

    We get home, have a cry together, she lights a candle for himand we talk about her trip etc.

    She goes off for some quiet time, I start dinner.

    She comes back out to me, looking a little scared, a little proud and alot freaked out, and just bursts into tears! So of course, what do I do...follow suit! I`m hugging her,crying,telling her it`s ok, going into my "it was meant to be" explanation mode, she shakes me off and cries "no mum, I just got my period"!!!!!!!!!!!

    So I burst into tears again! She follows closely behind, and we both end up on the kitchen floor crying our eyes out.

    My baby girl!!!!!!!!!!

    So we light a candle for her "Death" as well and talk about what we`re going to do to mark the occasion of her "Birth" into woman hood. She collected some of the blood which we`re going to use to honour her journey on the next full moon. How awesome.

    New moon,Lunar void,Bek gets her period. *sniffles and wipes eyes* And I`m an emotional wreck.

    Can I add to that and say it was also Dans 15th birthday on Friday. Two births for that date now.

    Alrighty, so thats Bek, she`s home, she`s safe and she`s a little woman!!!!

    .................... Onto Dan and his birthday *nervous twitch*

     

     

     

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    The people club

    Wednesday, November 7, 2007, 08:13 AM AEST [General]

     

    When you look at me, I wonder who you see?

    Do you see someone who repulses you?

    Because you don`t understand, or you don`t want to

    Your mind is closed, programmed

    What would they think, if they saw you with me?

    Your people club

    So judging and old

    Did you make it in their eyes?

    Do you believe that?

    Don`t you think they judge you to?

    Give it up, it`s fake

    You don``t know what you have

    You don`t know how to feel

    You just breathe

    Because they tell you to.

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    Stop Pretending

    Wednesday, November 7, 2007, 08:09 AM AEST [Poems]

     

    You look at me and you frown

    Judge me

    I`m your to blame

    Talk about me and fear me

    You`ll never know my secrets

    Don`t pretend

    To understand me

    Don`t pretend

    That you care

    Just stop pretending

    I`m not interested in your opinion,

    Your mind, your values?

    They`re pretend, they`re fake

    Why would I want to know you?

    You don`t even know yourself

    All you are is an act

    A thoughtless act

    That doesn`t matter

    Nothing you know matters

    But you can`t see that

    You won`t

    Only because

    You don`t matter.

     

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    My Darkness

    Wednesday, November 7, 2007, 08:02 AM AEST [Poems]

     

    Take me there

     I want to go

    Show me what hides in the Shadows

    Take me past my furtherest extremes

    Show me your Darkness

    I surrender

    To all that is offered, take me now

    I want to know

    I can`t hide anymore, I don`t want to

    Take me where I know is real

    Show me Emotion

    Show me what I know is True

    Show me the awe, the beauty, the wonder

    Take me, for I know I deserve

    It`s time

     Take me now.

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